WBA 2027 Playoffs

By Mike Begley

 

Do you ever look around and feel like you are standing in the midst of the future? Everything around you has changed. The people you knew are now old. Perhaps you stumbled upon a flux capacitor and a man wearing a black suit pointed a pen at you and neuralyzed your memory.

You only get a brief glimpse of this sudden shift in time after a momentary bout of deja vu.

Never? Okay.

Welcome to the 2027 playoff campaign! We finally wave goodbye to our protagonists Mario Bailey (20th season) and Jarius Miles (18th season) in their last WBA playoff adventure. From here on they will either move to Florida or join the developmental league.

But could there be one last hoorah?

No chance at all. Okay.

I am no soothsayer and am usually wrong about the future with all its unexpected twists and turns. But with the era of the superteams a thing of the past these playoffs promise to be the most unpredictable ever. Heck even the Cincinnati Hitmen have a chance to win it all!

What multiverse have I landed on? No idea but here are some predictions.

 

USA CONFERENCE

#1 Boston Massacre v #8 Colorado Pioneers

Marc Hameleers made a mistake by the tune of 28 points a game in losing Hancho Durrant to the dark free agent waters. Somehow he managed to squeeze 21 points per game out of Hubert Steiner and sneak into the playoffs as perhaps the worst three point shooting team of all time as they stand last in the league at a 30% clip. Nonetheless, these pesky Pioneers won’t stand down so easily as they now extend their playoff streak to ten seasons.

GM of the year Quinten Lawrence has assembled quite a cast of characters rising from the ashes of 31 wins to 60 wins and a top seed in one season. All league first team, and number two overall selection, Emerson Falco headlines the roster while Bobbie Mason has resurfaced as an all league defender. What really took Boston to the next level was a mid season trade with the ghost of Robert Williams which hauled former number one pick Guy Piavet and my favorite player in the entire league the Detroit’s Earllee “Action” Jackson with an unprecedented combination of strength and passing vision. No coincidence Boston leads the league in assists and holds the best home record at 37-3 in the entire league. The chips are all in!

Boston in 4.

 

#2 Cincinnati Hitmen v #7 Los Angeles Gargoyles

Los Angeles managed to pry Jervan Timmons from Miami with a 5 year lucrative contract and a starring role in Space Jam 3. The Gargoyles sneaked into the playoffs despite a losing record. At 33, Timmons may not be as dominant but still has much in the tank yet we will not witness his magic as he is either out with a “torn ligament” or busy filming movies in Hollywood. The Gargoyles stand no chance.

Joe LoMonaco has Cincinnati firing on all cylinders. With a unique combination of three point shooting at a league best mark of 40% combined with elite defense ranking third in blocked shots this is undoubtedly the best team in Cincinnati history. The franchise has never made it out of the first round until now.

Cincinnati in 4.

 

#3 Brookyln Rage v #6 Miami Xtreme

Brent Bangerter made a controversial trade to go all in this season then lost Timmons to the dark free agent waters. Picking up the slack was Flavien Fleurquin who is now out with a broken foot. Nonetheless, these Xtreme can still put up points in a hurry as they stand third in the league in scoring at 120 a game. Just imagine Timmons dishing out those passes and turning those 12o points into 130. But alas in this universe Brooklyn leads the entire league in scoring at 124 points a game.

Brooklyn just isn’t the same anymore: the poster child of gentrification in America. We can all agree they have gotten soft. Mario Bailey has been regulated to an overpaid mascot earning 10 million to sit on the bench and smile. And what was once recognized as the perennial best defense in the league now boasts the best post defender on the team as 5’11’’ Trenton Adams. This will be the highest scoring match up of the playoffs for sure.

Brooklyn in 7.

 

#4 California Fighting Cocks v #5 Arizona Dragons

When Rui Leite took over Arizona he promised to bring the franchise to greater heights. This was a bold proclamation as the team had previously made the WBA finals two seasons in a row. As the first move as new GM the team lost Meechy Jennings to the dark free agent waters. Kenny Lobo tried to pick up the slack but this Lobo never truly blossomed since Cancun gave up on him. Now with Inge Adlgasser out for the series with a broken foot Arizona will struggle to win a game against a proud California franchise.

California has made the playoffs for the last 13 seasons. In that span they have secured two WBA championships. This is a franchise that knows how to win and with a mid season trade to secure Kenyatta Davidson you can bet they expect another deep playoff run. Perhaps the oldest team ever assembled with half the squad in their 30s and their two stars Kenyatta and Hassan Watt both 31. Perhaps past their respective primes. We will see how those old knees hold up though there has been a trend of broken feet in the league lately.

California in 4.

 

 

WORLD CONFERENCE

#1 Paris Honey Bees v #8 Frankfurt Fury

The defending champs seemed to have thought it would be a good idea to rebuild. Gone are Hilton Fulton, and Heinrich Stoebener, in return for future draft compensation. Yet somehow Paris still holds onto the number one seed in a neck and neck race with Albacete. No question the leader of the squad is last years Finals MVP Klemens Eberle who now had the best year of his career averaging over 5 blocks a game and earning him the Defender of the Year award.  This years squad hangs its head on defense and Eberle is the anchor. The team even brought in defensive legend Clement Trentesols. Is this the year Clement gets his highly coveted championship? Well the Frankfurt Fury will not stand in the way.

The Fury are led by number one overall selection Reinaldo Colonnese and hold the worst record of all teams in the playoffs. This is perhaps due to giving up 120 points a game. So why is this defense so bad? The team has some talented defenders so who knows.

Paris in 4.

 

#2 Albacete Burning Hell v #7 Milan Mayhem

Pedro Alcaraz leads Albacete the strangest franchise in the WBA. After making the league finals in 2021 the team flounders into the abyss of a 15 win season in 2023. From there the team steadily rises into the playoffs into elimination in the first round. This season the team played a pesky shadow to Paris vying for the top seed but it seems the injury bug hit at the wrong time. Now they enter the playoffs with Klaas Binsenshaum set to miss the first two rounds with a scratched cornea. Yet they now have a healthy Sebastian Solana, and D league phenom Timocrates Stathakis to pair with the long lost Lonny Jordan. So goes the mysterious saga.

Milan drafted a fine point guard in Deo Mola who will be watching from the rafters with a broken leg. Such is Milan’s luck. To their fortune John Keating is having the best season of his career at 31 years of age garnering All League first team and All Defensive first team. I think Keating can outplay Solana and steal a game.

Albacete in 5.

 

#3 Gabon Giants v #6 Shanghai Pandas

For any other franchise a 59 win season would be spectacular but for Simon Drapeau it means utter disappointment. In fact, the Giants have not had a 50 win season since 2020, and have reached the conference finals or better since that span. This is no fault to Drapeau, as the teams leading scorer and perennial MVP candidate, Artie Duggons only suited up for 30 games. And to top it off this was not the only significant injury of the season as defensive stalwart Kelley Brandon also missed significant time. Now the squad is fully healthy and ready to show the league their true potential.

The Pandas finished the season strong and rank as a top ten team in the power rankings. There will be no easy walk in the park in Shanghai. Though I do hear Drapeau a man of culture plans to go on a walk with Artie Duggons at Century park a vast urban oasis with lakes and gardens in the heart of the Chinese megalopolis.

This contest will be a clash of big men as Duggons and Kurz square off against Dudley and Bataille and you can bet Chris Acklin the former Giant will have something to prove after he was dealt shortly after signing a long term contract to play for Gabon.

Gabon in 5.

 

#4 Cancun Outlaws v #5 Barcelona Counts

Now we get to the most exciting first round match up featuring Pat Fullum and Corey Daubanton two gentlemen who believe in the mantra “offense is the best defense.” The Outlaws feature league MVP Kevin Whitlock fresh from setting a new league all time scoring record at 36.8 points per game. Truly amazing! It helps to have three point guards! Whitlock not only led the league in scoring all time but also lead all players in points scored per shot taken demonstrating the epitome of efficiency. If Kevin Whitlock can somehow play the entire game and take all of Cancun’s shot attempts then the Outlaws are the early favorites for a championship. How’s that for coaching strategy?

On the other side of the world we have Barcelona known for drafting the most athletic players available, perennial winners of every WBA slam dunk contest, and losing in either the first or second round of the playoffs. This season the scoring is led by mid season acquisition WBA champion Hilton Fulton along with blossoming point guard Jeremy Bono who has been classified as a tenor, and according to him has a three-octave vocal range. I mean three level scorer. The X Factor for the Counts may be Jonah Bullard tasked with defending Kevin Whitlock in place of injured Roylen Fillum. We will see if Bullard can hold Whitlock to under 36 points.

Outlaws in 6.

 

Conclusion

And there we have it. We can all agree on a few things. Boston is good. The Hitmen have a chance. Rondall Reynoso has no chance at winning the championship. Miami messed up by not offering more money to Timmons. California is old. Paris should have kepy Fulton. Albacete is strange. And Gabon are still the favorites.

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