WBA Playoff Preview: 2024 Edition
By Mr. Mike Begley
Congratulations to all playoff contenders! Bienvenidos! This is not an article about playoff predictions. Why do we even attempt to predict things? It would be boring if we all knew what lay ahead. Being open to surprise is the spice of life. Expect the unexpected or you won’t find it. So let us relish each moment of these WBA playoffs. The following is a preview for potential outcomes or surprises that may or may not happen. I get paid handsomely to write about this stuff so here we go!
USA CONFERENCE
#1 California Fighting Cocks v #8 Cincinnati Hitmen
The Hitmen have a losing record both in Cincinnati and on the road. To make matters worse they are down their best player perhaps the league’s premier shot blocker the one and only Polish mountain Piotr Stoklosa. Let’s just say Joe LoMonaco has his work cut out for him. I would not be surprised if Justin Lawrence decides to rest one of his key veterans as a clean sweep of the Hitmen could still occur without one of the top three Fighting Cocks. That being said I do not offer a prediction, except it would not be surprising to see Dan Kincaide either rested for the series or injured during the series.
#2 Arizona Dragons v #7 Salt Lake City Fanatics
Michael Scott (Simon) either thinks he has a chance against Arizona or is pretty desperate for a real point guard. That’s the only explanation for a last minute poaching of the Dev league’s Anthony Davis. Well, Davis does have more championships (Six) than Juju Wambaugh had points (Five) in yesterday’s thirty point trouncing by the Fighting Cocks. While the Fanatics are 3-7 in the last ten games the Dan Dingleberry led Dragons are breathing fire with an 8-2 record in the last ten, and a scorching hot 125 points a game for the season. There are no dragons in Arizona that is correct. There are also no dragons in any fossil records throughout the world. These Dragons are actually from Seoul Korea: mythological benevolent beings bringers of rain and clouds. This franchise was once led by our esteemed friend Andre Dec who we hope is proud of his team.
#3 Miami Xtreme v #6 Colorado Pioneers
Brent Bangerter has led Miami to the fifth best home record in the league while the Pioneers are on a six game losing streak. The good news for Marc Hameleers is Hancho Durrant will soon return from a nagging case of Patellar Tendanitis. That PT does tend to spring up after carrying a load of over 29 points through 70 games. Welcome to the playoffs Rick McKeever you will now have to do battle against Jervan Timmons who has just set a regular season record averaging over 6 steals a game. Sometimes showing up to the game is half the battle. The other half is not getting five turnovers. As both teams give up over 110 points a game we are in for a scoring fest. Let the last bucket win!
#4 Atlanta Bloods v #5 Brooklyn Rage
Patrick Abrams must have a really good physical trainer in Atlanta because the Bloods are completely healthy to start the playoffs. The same cannot be said of Rondall Reynoso’s Rage as Trenton Adams has been banged up the whole season caused by excessively carrying the load for Mario Bailey and Jarius Miles. Both teams actually have the same record so home court advantage could still be in the air. I would not be surprised if the team with home court won the series but yet again the teams are so evenly matched I would not be surprised if not. Will this be the last year we see Mario Bailey and Jarius Miles together? Will be the last year they play for Brooklyn? These are questions that spring to mind as we witness and enjoy these legends do battle against Atlanta.
WORLD CONFERENCE
#1 Gabon Giants v #8 Albacete Burning Hell
In a way Albacete should get some credit for Gabon’s incredible rise offering up Tony Henderson like a birthday cake. Henderson now having his most efficient season as a shooter since 2018 has been crucial in establishing one of the leagues best defenses of all time. But these playoffs are not about Henderson or about any player on the Giants or any individual season awards. Heck no one even made the All Star team. Simon kept them all home to practice. This season is about the single minded goal of winning a championship a goal that has evaded Drapeau’s grasp for the last decade. Albacete will be a nice place to visit to enjoy some beef balls and beer and perhaps they can catch a sighting of Pedro’s Alcaraz’ special project / best player Sebastian Solana suiting up for the Tomelloso Extenders’ Dev league playoff run.
#2 Paris Honey Bees v #7 Barcelona Counts
Battle between the best street pick pockets in the world? No wait this is basketball. No one really knows what is going on with Paris since they traded Jervan Timmons for a bunch of project players, and some figured they were doomed since they lost Fulgencio Lurdes in free agency. But somehow here they are: the third seed in the world conference. Still pounding the rock and defending the hive. They lucked out a bit with Eusebio Blow blossoming as a late first round pick. Now they face the Barcelona Counts who somehow still made the playoffs despite a losing record. I would not be surprised if Barcelona finally puts it all together and upsets the Bees. But my logical brain is saying tough draw for Corey Daubanton whose historically athletic team’s rely on free throw attempts to score and they are now going up against a team that allows the least free throw attempts.
#3 London Badgers v #6 Cancun Outlaws
Anything can happen when an Outlaw and a Badger come together. Well they might join forces but more likely they will be at odds with each other. Outlaws love Badger pelts. Here TJ Smith and Pat Fullum will give us a show between two MVP caliber players Benet de Gama and Kevin Whitlock. Pat has been quoted as saying “offense is the best defense” which kinda sorta makes sense until I start to question: doesn’t the best defense make the best defense? Well the Outlaws average one more point than the Badgers so this series should answer the riddle once and for all. One step closer to the truth.
#4 Edmonton Eskimos v # 5 Milan Mayhem
Gosh. Neither of these teams deserve to lose in the first round. Michael Esposito and Gerald Tessier have both constructed talented, balanced squads capable of advancing multiple rounds. We can expect competition at the highest level. Both squads play large lineups and are top ten in rebounding. The bad news for Esposito is that Jesus is out for a month. Jesus Morrell 7 time All-Star that’s right. Yet I would not be surprised if 8 time All-Star John Keating takes it upon himself to will his way to the second round. Edmonton’s pair of number one draft picks Guy Piavet and Kenyatta Davidson may have something to say about that. We are soon to witness Mayhem in Edmonton that’s why we love the WBA!